WHAT IS complex trauma?
the silent erosion of the soul.
It describes a condition that usually occurs early in life caused by an environment that is unsafe, unstable and inescapable. This could include abuse, neglect, abandonment or growing up in a household where emotional needs are chronically ignored.
In these situations, trauma isn’t just an interruption of your life. Trauma is your life. There is no ‘before’. There is no reference. There is no event. It’s a silent erosion of the soul. Day by day. Piece by piece. The soul gets broken into tiny fragments, each with their own memories, emotions and belief systems.
The word ‘complex’ is used to describe this kind of trauma because most of it’s effects happen at a subconscious level. It’s more than just a painful memory. It’s more than sadness or anxiety. It’s the quiet, subconscious hurts that build up over time and shapes your identity.
10 signs that you have complex trauma.
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You’re constantly scanning your environment for danger, even when there’s none. Walking into a room, you immediately assess who’s there, their mood, and whether they’re a threat.
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Your emotions feel intense and unpredictable. One moment you’re fine, and the next, you’re overwhelmed by anger, sadness, or anxiety.
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You carry a deep sense of unworthiness, often feeling like you’re flawed, broken or unlovable.
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You struggle to let people in, fearing they’ll hurt or abandon you. Even in close relationships, you might keep a part of yourself hidden.
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You hold yourself to impossibly high standards, fearing that any mistake will lead to rejection or failure.
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You’re terrified of being left alone, even in stable relationships. This fear can lead to clinginess or pushing people away to avoid getting hurt.
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You feel disconnected from your emotions, as if you’re watching life from a distance. Joy, sadness, and anger all feel muted.
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You avoid social situations, preferring to be alone. Even when you’re with others, you feel disconnected.
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You go out of your way to make others happy, often at the expense of your own needs and boundaries.
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You turn to substances, food, or other behaviours to escape emotional pain or fill a void.